A LINKEDIN DILEMMA

Posted by David Sher in LinkedIn, Social MediaAug 16th, 2010 | 7 responses

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I usually have a strong opinion about the proper etiquette on LinkedIn, but I’m stumped on this one.

I feel I’m generally right, but feel badly about my choice. 

I received an invitation request from someone in my LinkedIn network.  His note said, “Would you mind passing this along to Mr. Doe?  I would really appreciate it.”  He included a sales pitch for himself & his service.

However I had only met the sender once at a meeting & really didn’t know him.  After that meeting, he sent me an invitation to join his LinkedIn network & I accepted.  I generally make an effort to know everyone in my LinkedIn network, but I’m pretty loose with this rule.

I didn’t really know how to respond.  I could have forwarded the request, but I felt that by forwarding I was giving my implicit endorsement of the sender, who as I stated earlier I barely knew.  I could have archived the introduction request but I don’t think that’s appropriate either.

So I felt compelled to respond which I did with the following e-mail.  “Thanks for thinking of me to help you with your introductions.  I feel it’s important to help as many people as I can.”

“However, the purpose of LinkedIn is to have your introductions forwarded by someone who knows and believes in you.  Since I only met you briefly, I don’t know you well enough to forward your request.”

“My credibility & reputation is very important to me.   If you asked me about someone who I really didn’t know & I told you they were someone special, I would be doing you a disservice.”

“Please don’t take this personally & please don’t be upset with me, I certainly appreciate your efforts to grow your business.”

I felt I had done the right thing, but somehow I felt like a jerk.  After all, we’re participating in social media because we want to be liked & expand our influence.  I’m sure I damaged my relationship with the requester.  What do you think?  This is David Sher your WeMentor guy saying it’s not what you know, but whoo you know.



7 Responses to “A LINKEDIN DILEMMA”

  1. Garrett says:
    August 17, 2010 at 10:37 am

    Actually, you went out of your way to make sure you didn’t sound like a jerk.

    I would completely understand and, I would make sure our relationship changed so that you were more comfortable with me. :)

    Had a similar thing happen last week. All you can do is be honest and sincere.

  2. David Sher says:
    August 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    John, Thanks for your comment. As an add on to this, I got an e-mail back from the requester. He said he understood my reluctance to recommend him and said he would contact me in a couple weeks so we could get to know one another better. So I don’t feel quite as bad. We’ll see if he follows up?

  3. Tara Bloom says:
    August 23, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    David,

    Great response! Professional, polite and on-point. Don’t feel like a jerk for being honest and sincere in your desire to used Linked In in the way you see fit to help people in the best manner. I bet you will, indeed, hear from this fellow again and he will make an effort to get to know you better. I would!

    Tara Bloom

  4. David Sher says:
    August 23, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Tara,
    It is so kind of you to send your note. All of us try to do the right thing in life and in social media and it’s difficult to say “no.” I appreciate you making me feel better.

  5. Teresa Thorne says:
    August 31, 2010 at 8:49 am

    David,
    I agree with all of the comments. There are two ways to handle this. One is just to reject people you don’t know well. The second way is exactly what you did.

    The first way closes off the possibility and opportunity for meeting new people and expanding your social network (which I learned from you.) The person (from his response) did not mean to use you, just probably didn’t understand the big picture of social media. You offered an opportunity and he stepped up, or at least understood that he needed to.

  6. Trudy Phillips says:
    September 7, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    David, I think you made a good response. I would have taken it just one step further and said, Let’s have coffee so we can get to know each other better.

  7. David Sher says:
    September 7, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Trudy, thanks for your thoughts. As it turned out, the person contacted me afterward & suggested we meet for coffee so we could get to know one another. I gladly accepted & he said he would set a date the following week. I never did hear from him.

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