WHO KNEW FACEBOOK COULD BE SO PROVOCATIVE AND FUN?

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I think I hit a nerve.

Here was my Facebook post.  “16 year old girl tries to sail around the world.  13 year old boy climbs Mt. Everest.  Are parents crazy?  I would never allow my child.  Would you?”

At the time I asked my question, I didn’t think much about it.  I assumed I’d get a few parents to say they agreed with me & that would be it.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The first two posts were in support my position, but then all hell broke loose.  My friends got into a major disagreement about parenting.   The parents who limited their children were accused of stifling their potential.  The liberal parents were called irresponsible.

And since the parents of the girl sailor & the boy mountain climber, lived in California, there were accusations that “California is the land of fruits & nuts.” Then some of my California friends started calling the people from Alabama, “toothless red-necks.”

The conversation went on for more than twenty-four hours.  More than four pages of banter…forty-three separate comments.  And then when I arrived at the YMCA the next day & was approached by one of my good friends who had not commented on line, but wanted to give her opinion.

I had to stop & think about what had just happened.  Facebook had created a new & different dynamic.  Keep in mind that I knew everyone participating in the discussion.  Most of the people commenting didn’t know one another.  So we have a virtual conversation between strangers with basically one common friend—me. 

I found the whole conversation fascinating & fun.  I got some great insight into people—many of which I didn’t know very well.  I also got some great insight into parenting.

People sure are interesting.  This is David Sher, your WeMentor guy saying it’s not what you know, but whoo you know.

A FACEBOOK SUPER HERO

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I walked to my mail box, thumbed through my mail, and noticed an envelope from Dona Bonnett.  I had worked with Dona when she was a healthcare consultant, but a few years ago she decided to open a photography business in her hometown of Decatur called A Digital Reflection.

I opened up the envelope and there was a sympathy card that read, “Dear David, So sorry to hear about the loss of your Aunt Gladys.  My aunts were very special to me and I’m sure Aunt Gladys was a very special person in your life.  It’s never easy to say goodbye.  May God speak to you during this time, Sincerely Dona.”

My first thought was, how did Dona even know about my Aunt Gladys?  And then it dawned on me, I had posted it on Facebook.

I don’t know if you appreciate the kindness and brilliance of sending this personal card, but Dona really understands how to use social media and how to build relationships.

First of all, these days, who sends personal notes or cards?  It’s just too easy to post a response on Facebook or send an e-mail.

And secondly, many people think that social media is all about themselves.  They are so busy posting stuff about things that are of interest to them or pushing information on others, that they forget the very basics of social media is to try to help others.

I will always remember this kind gesture.  My Aunt Gladys was very important to me and to have a friend acknowledge my feelings at a difficult time won’t go unappreciated.  Dona understands the most important rule of human relations.  If you want others to be interested in you, then be interested in them first.

This is David Sher, your WeMentor guy, saying it’s now what you know, but Whoo you know.

SOCIAL MEDIA–NETWORKING ON STEROIDS

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I recently received an e-mail from Lynn Rathmell who works for Jewish Family Services.  One of her duties is to help unemployed people find work.  She asked me to meet with a seasoned business executive who lost his high level management position when his business was sold.

Lynn felt if I tutored him on social media & LinkedIn, I could help him find a job.

When I met him, his first comment was, “In the past I haven’t done a very good job of networking.  I ran a successful distribution business for many years & didn’t feel networking was important.  Now here I am, out of work, and I have very few contacts.”

This is typical of most people.  But the fact is all through life we need help from others & and the more people we know the better off we are.

One of the most important books I ever read was “Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty,” by Harvey Mackay.  Mr. Mackay explained in every way possible that success in life is heavily dependent on your business & social networks.  He spent most of his book talking about the importance of keeping your Rolodex full & up to date.

At that time, my Rolodex was pretty skimpy & I remember thinking it was too late to fix.

However, you & I have been given another chance.  My Rolodex was converted to Outlook and then to LinkedIn, Facebook. & Twitter.  I currently have over 800 first line connections on LinkedIn alone & that explodes into about 150,000 people my first line connections can put me in touch with.

My connections have helped me in every facet of my life.  John Mackay says in his book, “When two individuals swap pennies, each has a penny.  When each shares their networks, they each have two networks.”   This David Sher your WeMentor Guy saying it’s not what you know, but whOO you know.

SOCIAL MEDIA–YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO BE FOUND

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Whenever I present to a group, I ask, “If you were to meet a person you didn’t know, how would you check her out?”  The response is always the same, “I would Google them.”

It’s said, you only have one chance to make a first impression.  The first information anyone sees about you are the first few entries on Google.

This really got my attention when I was training a successful CEO on social media.  He said, “I’m kind of a private person & I really don’t want everyone to know my business.”  However, when I Googled his name & company, the first headline was a newspaper article about his company filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy many years ago.

With the Internet, there is no such thing as privacy.  Your only option is to try to control some of the content.  And you can do that through social media. 

Google sucks up your social media entries and thrusts it to the top of the page.

To prove my point, I Googled three important names:  David Sher (me); Phyllis Neill (my partner), & WeMentor Social Media Marketing (our business).

“WeMentor” showed up in every Google entry on page one.  You would think our Web Site would be first.  It actually was fourth.  Ahead of it was Phyllis’ blog (number one & two), & one of my tweets…then SlideShare, Facebook, & few others.

When I Googled “Phyllis Neill,” her name dominated every slot on page one.  Her profiles on Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, & Google topped the list.

My “David Sher” search took up five slots on page one.  A tweet of mine was first & my LinkedIn profile was second.  My podcast followed soon there after.  I thought that was pretty good since there are twenty “David Sher’s” on LinkedIn alone. 

It is said the Internet is the biggest haystack in the world.  The only way little needles like you & me can be found is through social media.

This is David Sher, your WeMentor Guy saying it’s not what you know, but whOO you know.

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN YOU SCREW UP

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I had just finished a call & I thought I might be late.  I actually pulled into the restaurant two minutes early to meet with a business associate I hadn’t seen in a while.

I had found him on LinkedIn & sent him an invitation.  He accepted & invited me to lunch.  I thought it would be fun to catch up.

Well, I went flying into the restaurant because I hate to be late & he wasn’t there.  I waited a few minutes & called his cell phone.  No answer.  I sent him an e-mail & a text.  Still no response.

There wasn’t anything left to do so I got a bite to eat & left.

About two hours later I got a call from him.  “Oh my goodness.  I am so sorry.  For some reason I didn’t put our meeting on my calendar & messed up.  This is so embarrassing.  I must be the dumbest person in the world.”  And so on.

Of course I explained this happens to everyone including me on occasion & every thing’s okay. 

However, when I looked on my Blackberry, he had sent me an e-mail a few minutes earlier.  It said, I noticed yesterday I had a scheduling conflict & I tried to call ‘what I thought’ was your number to reschedule. 

Now all bets were off.  It’s okay to make a mistake.  We all make mistakes but to make up a story is not acceptable.  He obviously knew he couldn’t make lunch & with a little effort he could have let me know.  I think more people mess themselves up by trying to cover up a mistake rather than the mistake itself.

And then to top it off, after my friend made his apology, he said, “We don’t have to do lunch, you could come to my office.  Call me Monday to make the arrangements.”

Now let me get this straight.  He stands me up; wants to avoid buying me lunch; tells ‘me’ to call him & meet him at ‘his’ office.  Since I was the one inconvenienced, you’d think he’d want to make it convenient for me.

Here’s what I think. If you screw up, just admit it, apologize, & then make it easy on the other guy.  This is David Sher, your WeMentor Guy saying it’s not what you know, but whOO you know.

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF FACEBOOK

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Facebook is a conversation.  You post on Facebook just like you are talking with a group of friends.

Yet I find many people don’t get it.

Do you enjoy people who only talk about themselves?  Do you enjoy talking to people who regularly force their religion or politics on you?  How about people who are always trying to sell you something, push their causes, or promote their events?

I promise you do everything in your power to avoid such people.  Yet that is exactly what many of your friends do on line.  Fortunately with Facebook you can hide their posts or “unfriend” them.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t do any of the above.  I’m just saying if you do it every day, you are not going to be very well liked.

This is all a matter of balance.  Just like a real conversation.  You talk a little about yourself.  Learn a little about others.  You comment on their lives.  It’s then okay every once in a while to say what you do for a living, discuss some of the causes you support, talk about your life.  But this needs to be a two way conversation.  It can’t be all about you. 

Ask for advice from your Facebook friends.  Seek their opinions.  Tell them jokes.  When you hear about things you think they would be interested in, tell them. 

Read their posts and make a comment.  If they have questions or a problem, try to help.  Strive for balance.  Ask yourself, would this be appropriate in a normal face to face conversation?

Don’t you want people to like you?  To be glad when you come into a room?  Then help others, show interest in them, and be of value to them.

Your goal in social media is to get others to know you, like you, and trust you…just like real life.

This is David Sher, your WeMentor Guy saying it’s not what you know, but whOO you know.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO BAN SOCIAL MEDIA AT WORK?

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Last week I asked the question whether it is a good idea to ban social media sites at work.  Companies certainly couldn’t operate without telephones and in the future, companies won’t be able to operate without social media.  Employees can waste time on social media just like they can waste time on the phone.

Now I’m going ask the same question, but in a different way.  Not whether it’s a good idea to ban social media at work, but whether it’s even possible to ban social media at work.

Much of social media is created by cell phones and not just by computers.  I think you would agree that most employees have cell phones.  Therefore any employee who wants to get to Facebook or Twitter doesn’t have to have the company computer to do so.

So this actually becomes a matter of company policy and supervision. 

In addition, it is human nature to want to do the things you aren’t allowed to do.  This is true of the phone as it would be with social media.  Even though you might not supply a company phone to an employee, if he wants to make a call, he can always pull out his cell phone and do so.

This is summed up by a post we received on our WeMentor Facebook business page.  When asked the question, “Does your employer ban social media sites at work?”  The response was “Yes they do and I have been trying to inform and enlighten them on how much of a negative effect this has on the morale of the employees, the potential business they are losing and how if they don’t get started now they will be light years behind other businesses.  Right now I’m on my cell which is a lot less efficient than if I had just logged on, made a quick post and back to work.  If I had it already minimized on my desktop, this message would have only taken two minutes instead of five.”

This is David Sher, your WeMentor Guy, saying it’s now what you know, but Whoo you know.

SHOULD SOCIAL MEDIA BE BANNED AT WORK?

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In 1876, at the age of 29, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone.  A few short years later companies of all sizes were using phones in their businesses.

When phones were being introduced, do you think some bosses were saying, “We better not have a phone because some of our employees may use them to make personal calls?  Since I wasn’t there, I really don’t know, but some how I doubt it.

Now look around your office.  There are phones on every desk.  Are they sometimes used for personal phone calls?  You bet they are.  Are companies threatening to yank them out?  I don’t think so.

However, many companies are making the decision to ban all social media.  The main reason—employees may use them for personal reasons.

Is that true?  Probably.  But how is that different from the telephone?

Let’s face it.  The whole world, including business, is migrating to social media.  LinkedIn, which is primarily a business tool, is growing at the rate of 1 million new members every twelve days and now has 65 million members.  The average Linked user earns $107,000 a year, 25% are at executive level, and every Fortune 500 company is represented.

Facebook now has 400 million members and is growing at five million members a week.  Even though Facebook is primarily social, it’s a great tool for building business relationships.

Social media is how business will get done in the future.  Does every employee have to have access?  No…just as every employee doesn’t need a telephone.  But no business will survive without it.

This is David Sher, your WeMentor guy, saying it’s not what you know, but Whoo you know.

SOCIAL MEDIA–DON’T RUN AWAY YOUR FRIENDS

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Have you ever gone out on a Saturday night to a party to get away from work and all its pressures—only to be followed around by some insensitive jerk whose determined to discuss business whether you want to or not?  Does this make you like him?  Even more importantly, will this lead you to do business with him?

That is how some people act with social media.

I have a business and Facebook friend who was unemployed for some time.  When he finally landed a job, he invited me to join his company Facebook page.  I had no interest, so I ignored his request.  That didn’t stop him from posting all his business banter on his personal Facebook page.

Facebook is a social site.  Its primary purpose is not business. Now I didn’t say you couldn’t do business, but it must be kept to a minimum.   I went to my friend’s Facebook page & noted he had ten posts—eight of them were business related.  The other two were what he had for lunch & dinner.  Those percentages are backwards.

His message isn’t going to be read.  Many of his friends will hide his posts or pull him out of their networks.  They certainly aren’t going to want to do business with him.

Example number two.  There is a local business that discovered LinkedIn.  LinkedIn is primarily a business platform.  However, the owners of this business determined they want to use LinkedIn to send blast e-mails about what’s good about their company.

That is not how LinkedIn was intended.  In fact, LinkedIn designed its platform so it takes a great deal of work to send out mass messages.

As I was reviewing Twitter a few minutes ago, I noticed a tweet from an unhappy recipient that explained the risks of acting badly with social media.  It said, “FYI—if you choose to follow me 4 times & I don’t follow back, the 5^th try’s not going to do it.  You’re not interesting & I’m happy with my insurance.”

This is David Sher, your WeMentor Guy saying it’s not what you know, but whOO you know.

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF LINKEDIN RECOMMENDATIONS

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Have you ever looked at your LinkedIn Status updates and seen anything like this?

“John Doe was recommended by Bill Smith.”  Then directly under that you see, “John Doe recommends Bill Smith.”

Now isn’t it clear John called Bill & said, “If you recommend me, then I will recommend you.”  Does this instill confidence in you that John & Bill do good work?

I call this a “circular” recommendation.  If the primary purpose of LinkedIn is to build credibility, I don’t think resorting to a “swap” to get people to say nice things about you is going to make you look good.

And I’ve always been puzzled why LinkedIn makes it so easy to do.  When someone recommends you, LinkedIn automatically asks if you would like to recommend them back.

In fact, I would say Recommendations are one of the most misused LinkedIn strategies.  I often get requests from people, who have never done work for me, ask that I recommend them.  Well, my credibility is at stake when I give a recommendation.  I may respond with “Joe is active in our community” or “Mary is well liked by her peers,” but it wouldn’t be appropriate or honest for me to praise his or her work…if I don’t really know how he or she performs.

If you are looking for a meaningful recommendation, I suggest you contact your most satisfied clients and ask them for a recommendation.  All of us have raving fans or we wouldn’t be in business.  These are the recommendations that actually mean something.

By the way, the best way to gain value from LinkedIn recommendations is to give “unsolicited” recommendations to others who have done good work for you.  Remember the goal of social media is to get people to like you.  If you’re struggling to get recommendations, maybe they are struggling also.  They will be thrilled that you took the initiative to praise them publicly.

This is David Sher, your WeMentor Guy saying it’s not what you know, but whOO you know.